Bill turns 75

Or at least you'd think he was that old by the look of his birthday loot. He received a hat from Orvis that looks suspiciously like the Indiana Jones hat, a pocket watch (!), a new razor, and a favorite book from his youth called "Paddle to the Sea." I was unable to procure season 4 of The X-Files for him. It was spotted at Walmart (always) several weeks ago and when I returned to purchase it recently, I was told that due to its unpopular status, it had been sent back to wherever unpopular Walmart items go to die.

For dessert, Bill wanted a pecan pie and a chocolate cake. Greedy sucker, isn't he?

This is my personal favorite. By the way, he's really only 35.